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The specifics may change but, broadly speaking, those are the marital minefields. The more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Money and sex famously breed a lot of secrecy, insecurity and fear. In both sex and money, past indiscretions can catch up with you in surprising ways, and irresponsibility can follow us even after we tie the knot. The most obvious root of our trouble with sex and money is how much of it we keep locked up and hidden away.
With money, this could look like hidden credit card debt, irresponsible spending habits or just a bad budget blunder. With sex, this could be a private addiction, an affair or just a friendship with a friend or co-worker that you know is growing dangerously flirtatious. Whatever the issue, your first step should absolutely be raw, uncompromising honesty.
People regret lying every day, all the time. Very few people have ever regretted telling the truth. The fact of the matter is that your house of cards will tumble, sooner or later.
Secrets and lies are terribly fragile—you can either break them yourself or wait for circumstance to do it for you. And on the other side of those conversations? Sex is vulnerability, through and through. To have sex at all is to open yourself up to the possibility of embarrassment, shame and need. True confidence is found in sharing your real feelings about these things with your partner.